Here I go again...

Well, here I am...3 years later, 1 more kid, and another 40 lbs heavier. Here I am... Almost 100 lbs overweight. My 5 year old daughter keeps asking me why I'm not skinny anymore. What can I tell her? I can tell her that sometimes that happens when moms have babies... Sure, that's part of it. The truth though is that mom just doesn't take care of herself like she should. I don't work out, I don't eat healthy and the older I get the more weight I gain. I had decided a while ago that I was going to do whatever it took to lose this weight. I am starting to show signs of diabetes, as well as other health issues caused by weight. I can not allow my weight to run my life! I want to do things with my family and have fun outdoors hiking or playing sports! Brooke started t-ball today and I WILL be part of this amazing journey of hers!
  I have started the "ItWorks system" ... At the very least it is giving me the energy I need to get motivated. Instead of wanting to sleep my day away I have the energy to stay awake! It seems to be helping with my anxiety as well.
  Ryan bought me a bicycle for my birthday (don't worry... It's what I asked him for... And I LOVE IT!!!) and I FINALLY had the time and energy to get out on that tonight! I would like to say I enjoyed myself but I think I was too busy dying to enjoy it! I rode about a mile...but man do I feel like I rode about 20! I'm not sure what happened! 10 years ago I could ride miles and miles without ever breaking a sweat and I would ride hard! Now I can barely get a mile without falling over dead! I had told Ryan that I'm struggling with getting out and riding for a couple reason, the main one being that I am embarrassed and do not want anyone I know to see me riding. No one wants to we this on a bike! But I've told myself it doesn't matter what anyone thinks or wants to see, this is what I need to do(I'm thinking about getting a shirt that says something like "don't laugh, at least I'm trying") The other struggle is that no matter which direction I leave from my house I am faced with insane hills, they are unavoidable and extremely hard to ride for someone as out of shape as I am! I suppose this will just help me get in shape quicker though... Or at least I can hope!
   Over the years I have struggled with finding the motivation I need to get in shape. I still do but I think I have more motivation now than I ever have. My husband deserves a wife that is healthy and can keep up with him and the kids! My children deserve the same and my daughter is old enough to start understanding. She has asked me twice in the last week "mom, why aren't you skinny like you used to be in the pictures I've seen?" And then she says " I liked it when you were skinny, I wish you were skinny again" while this stings (about as bad as lemon juice in a fresh c-section incision... And believe me... THAT STINGS!!!)  it also gives me the kick in the butt I need. I want my daughter to look at me and be proud! So, if I can't do this for me... I will do it for her! Someday i WILL be skinny again!
  So here I am, once again attempting to find and keep the motivation I need to get back in shape and down to my goal weight.... My hopes is that by this time next year I will be writing a blog that says I did it! Here I go again...

I'm actually starting to enjoy running!!!

 Holy cow! I can't believe I just said this! I never thought the day would come where I would actually rather enjoy my runs. ( don't get me wrong... They still kill me and I still grumble. But afterwards it feels good!) 

 This week I took another picture to compare to my firsts one. To my surprise we actually see a little bit of results. 

  We are leaving for camping tomorrow night and I am super excited. I haven't been camping since I was a little girl. I am excited to see my kids have fun like I did. Maybe I will teach Brooke to catch lighting bugs and smear them on her clothes and watch how her clothes glow. ( I know.... So gross! But my childhood would be boring without some of those memories!) thanks again for all the words of encouragement! Have a great 4th off July and stay safe! 

So....

 Ok, So I promise I haven't totally fallen off the wagon. I know it's been a couple of weeks since my last post. But mostly that just has to do with being busy being a mom and not taking the time to post. I have been dieting ( with a couple of failed attempts) and my exercising hasn't been perfect but I am working on it. Ryan has been working late hours so by the time he gets home it's bed time. So I am struggling with losing my workout buddy. Also my computer is out of order at the moment so I am not able to do my insanity. :(  Today I pulled my Sister in law out for a run with me. She is about 6 or so Inches taller than me so it's funny watching her walk along side me while I jog my heart out. But it was nice having the company! Hopefully I can convince her to go again! My weight is staying the same.... So I guess I've already hit a wall that hopefully I can get over soon!!! I feel like I am losing fat but it doesn't seem to show much on the tape measure. My fingers are definitely smaller though. My wedding ring used to have my fingers all fat around it and now I have to take it off if I am showering or anything that could cause it to slip off. Hopefully I can wait to resize it until I get closer to my goal weight. Although I may not resize until I'm done having kids! Might just get a temporary sizer. Anyway, thanks for all the words of encouragement! Love you all! 

Hard week

Today has been a hard day! I worked my butt off ( or so I thought) all last week. Stuck strictly to my diet and worked out doing insanity everyday and running half a mile after doing insanity. According to the scale this morning I have gained a pound... I had hoped it was muscle weight from working out.... But the tape measure also says I've gained an inch around my waist... So I don't get it. I cried. This is why I can never stay motivated. The harder I try the worse I do. It is so discouraging to try so hard and then not only do I see no results but I see negative results. I had my sad pity day today but tomorrow it's back to working out and being super strict with what I eat. I am determined to lose this weight and I still believe insanity is the best way for me to do it. Hopefully by next week I will see some POSITIVE results!

Back on track...

  So I fell off the wagon for a while. Im back again though. I could give you all a bunch of excuses ( I was really sick, we moved, birthdays, we were traveling) But in all reality it just comes down to being lazy and lack of motivation. 


   For a while I have been tossing around the idea of doing the Insanity work out on the 60 day schedule. I've done them here and there... but never stuck to the schedule. While I was in Virginia I was stuck in the hotel while Ryan was doing testing. I watched an infomercial on Insanity. That is when I decided that I was going to do the full Insanity work out for 60 days. 

   While I was sick I lost 2 and 1/2 lbs over night. That brought me to a total of 5.2 lbs lost. Not bad... But I am not sure where i am at now. I have to remember to weigh myself first thing in the morning. I will post an update on here once I do that and take my measurements. 

Insanity "Before" Picture

 Thanks to those of you for asking where my blog was and how my workouts have been going. It kept that little bit of motivation inside me. 
   
  I hope that with the weather improving and a few other personal changes I've made that I can keep motivated for the next 59 days. (Maybe longer!)

  I love you all!!!

My weight is 178.6!!! ( a total of 6.6 lbs lost) 
Measurements: 22.75-thigh, 12-arm, 43.25-waist. ( inch off waist, .75 off arm and thigh.)

First week down!

This week went pretty good.  I stuck to my diet for the most part. We had decided to change my cheat day to thursday because that's what works best as far as getting the food i want from town. Then saturday I gave blood and of course they shove donuts down your throat ;) LOL.
   I worked out 3 times this week. Plus bowling one night.  The first night I worked out, Ryan worked out with me and we did all sorts of different things. The next time I worked out with my friend Megan and we did a Denise Austin video. Then the last time I worked out this week Ryan and I did Insanity.

  So my weight this morning was 183.4! (I lost 1.8lbs) Not what my goal was... But i am happy with it. I seem to have made up for it in measurements. My arm was the same, I lost half an inch on my legs and an inch on my waist! Right now, Some results are better than none. So many times I would step on the scale or take my measurements after working so hard all week and see no change. Then I get discouraged and end up giving up. Not this time!!! I WILL be skinny again!

Motivation for the week (Fort Macon 2008)

    This week is going to be kind of hard to stick to my diet. Wednesday is my birthday ( and I sure as heck don't want to have to watch what I eat on my birthday!) and Saturday we are doing Tanners birthday party (his Birthday is Friday! I cant believe he will be ONE!!!!) and you know I HAVE to have cake!!! But I am still going to work hard at this regardless of the birthdays and still work out!

  Thanks for all your encouragement and support! It really does help so much!

DAY 1

  Ok, 1 Day down 175 (according to my weight loss program) to go! 

April 17th 2013

  Starting weight and measurements are as follows : Weight 185 lbs. 50 pounds to my goal weight. I CAN do this! Arm- 12.75 in, Waist- 44.75, and Thigh- 23.5 .

  My goal for next Monday is to be down at LEAST 2 lbs. and to stick to my diet completely all week! (Saturday is set aside as a cheat day... just an FYI.)  

April 7th 2013

  Ryan helped me work out tonight... He is probably laughing inside but it was certainly a work out for me. I know I will be feeling it in the morning! Ha ha! 

  I am putting pictures with this post that I really am not comfortable showing the world... but I feel like it is something I need to do in order to keep me motivated. 

My motivational picture for the week!